All New Stupid-Church Sign Ranking System

June 27, 2007

For some reason my area is the home of stupid church signs. I use the word stupid in many different ways and thus have formulated my own simply four level “Stupid-Ranking System”:

“Stupid-Funny.”
These are the signs that are stupid but they are actually kinda clever, funny and even harmless.

“Stupid-Stupid”
These are the signs that are the ones that cause you to violently roll your eyes. They either don’t make sense, they are not funny or are just plain dumb.

“Stupid-Scary”
These are the worst signs. They are scary. Often because their message is so hostile to the world. I often wonder whether Churches think these signs would actually want anyone to come to their church.

“Stupid-Not-Even-Doctrinally-Correct”
These signs are fairly self-explanatory. If you are going to put a church sign on, please make sure it makes sense theologically.

Here are a few local church sign sighting from yesterday:

“Sign Broken. Come in for Message.”
Ranking: Somewhere between “Stupid-Funny” and “Stupid-Stupid”.

“Need a new life? God has a replacement plan!”
Ranking: Stupid-Stupid.

Considering these signs change at least once a week, I am sure there are more to come soon…

Recent Comments // only me talking would be just plain silly.

  • Ryan Bell said...

    1

    06/27/07 5:38 AM | Comment Link |

    Todd, you are so right! That particular neighborhood is rife with Stupid signs. Right around the Seventh-day Adventist Church on County Line Rd. there were several I drove by nearly every day that gave me that autonomous, violent-eye-rolling reaction! One that I remember well that you’ll no doubt see in the coming weeks as the weather heads up is - “You think it’s hot out there!”

    Then there’s the one down closer to The Well that has a big long self-description something like, “Fundamental, Bible-Believing, Misogynistic (wait, maybe they didn’t say Misogynistic)…

  • Todd said...

    2

    06/27/07 2:09 PM | Comment Link |

    Ryan, your former church is one of the culprits. While they usually edge on the side of cheese and not so much on scary, they still are rather interesting :)

  • Ryan Bell said...

    3

    06/27/07 2:37 PM | Comment Link |

    How funny! I know the guy who does the sign and I was always reining him in. You’re right, they’re normally just cheesy and sentimental. Sorry ’bout that bro!

  • Todd said...

    4

    06/28/07 1:45 PM | Comment Link |

    apparently he has no one reigning him in anymore :)

  • wezlo said...

    5

    07/1/07 2:00 PM | Comment Link |

    My personal (least) favorite: “Wal-Mart isn’t the only savings place.”

    This ranks in the “stupid-not-even-doctrinally-correct” region.

    I mean, “Hey everyone, Wal-Mart isn’t the only bastion of consumerism as a religion, check out the Church!

  • Todd said...

    6

    07/2/07 8:42 AM | Comment Link |

    Wezlo, classic…

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