June 27, 2007
All New Stupid-Church Sign Ranking System
For some reason my area is the home of stupid church signs. I use the word stupid in many different ways and thus have formulated my own simply four level “Stupid-Ranking System”:
“Stupid-Funny.”
These are the signs that are stupid but they are actually kinda clever, funny and even harmless.“Stupid-Stupid”
These are the signs that are the ones that cause you to violently roll your eyes. They either don’t make sense, they are not funny or are just plain dumb.“Stupid-Scary”
These are the worst signs. They are scary. Often because their message is so hostile to the world. I often wonder whether Churches think these signs would actually want anyone to come to their church.“Stupid-Not-Even-Doctrinally-Correct”
These signs are fairly self-explanatory. If you are going to put a church sign on, please make sure it makes sense theologically.
Here are a few local church sign sighting from yesterday:
“Sign Broken. Come in for Message.”
Ranking: Somewhere between “Stupid-Funny” and “Stupid-Stupid”.
“Need a new life? God has a replacement plan!”
Ranking: Stupid-Stupid.
Considering these signs change at least once a week, I am sure there are more to come soon…
06.27.07
By: Ryan Bell
Todd, you are so right! That particular neighborhood is rife with Stupid signs. Right around the Seventh-day Adventist Church on County Line Rd. there were several I drove by nearly every day that gave me that autonomous, violent-eye-rolling reaction! One that I remember well that you’ll no doubt see in the coming weeks as the weather heads up is – “You think it’s hot out there!”
Then there’s the one down closer to The Well that has a big long self-description something like, “Fundamental, Bible-Believing, Misogynistic (wait, maybe they didn’t say Misogynistic)…
06.27.07
By: Todd
Ryan, your former church is one of the culprits. While they usually edge on the side of cheese and not so much on scary, they still are rather interesting :)
06.27.07
By: Ryan Bell
How funny! I know the guy who does the sign and I was always reining him in. You’re right, they’re normally just cheesy and sentimental. Sorry ’bout that bro!
06.28.07
By: Todd
apparently he has no one reigning him in anymore :)
07.1.07
By: wezlo
My personal (least) favorite: “Wal-Mart isn’t the only savings place.”
This ranks in the “stupid-not-even-doctrinally-correct” region.
I mean, “Hey everyone, Wal-Mart isn’t the only bastion of consumerism as a religion, check out the Church!
07.2.07
By: Todd
Wezlo, classic…