I am a pastor at 
I just got done pulling Strawberry Chex out of my son’s hair. It was awesome.
For the last two months Melanie (my wife) has been working on Thursdays so that means I have been home with the boys. It’s funny, a number of people have made the predictable “Mr. Mom” comment. I’ll be honest, I hate that comment. I really do. Last time I checked, I’m their dad. So, if you want to call me Mr. Dad, thats okay with me. Because that’s what I am…
Also, when I am home watching my kids, fulfilling my role as a parent…don’t call me the babysitter. I’m “dad.” Its not like these kids are my wife’s responsibility and I just happen to watch them for her everyonce and a while. That’s a screwed up view of manhood and womanhood.
I. Am. Their. Dad. I’m not Mr. Mom and I’m not the babysitter.
I’m dad.
Okay, I think you get the point.
Mini-rant is over…
Shanna said...
1OK, Mr. Dad. Way to make a statement!!!! I think you should take it national!!!
05/1/08 4:52 AM | Comment Link
Pat said...
2Totally with you on this one! When I was doing the first few years of our church plant I was stay-home dad for Kaileigh in the mornings, then would go do “pastor stuff” in the afternoons. I loved it, but lots of moms – working moms especially – had a really hard time describing what I did in what I considered reasonable terms.
I’m just being a dad.
05/1/08 6:42 AM | Comment Link
Todd said...
3Shanna, my blog goes to the whole world.. so there ya go…
Pat, i have gained an enormous amount of respect for my wife recently. I can’t believe she does this everyday. I mean, I love it… but if it were everyday i might go insane…
05/1/08 11:10 AM | Comment Link
Dorie said...
4The “Mr. Mom” comment never would have crossed my mind. Although for me, this begs the question: Do the people who call you “Mr. Mom” also call Mel “Mrs. Dad”? And if so, does that comment only happen on Thursdays? I would think it would have to go both ways.
Despite the fact that many of us desperately crave a blended life, we don’t quite know what to do with it when we see others in our community have that blended life. The SAHD situation is an unfortunate side effect of “Men’s Lib” not being caught up with “Women’s Lib” and eventually (I hope) we will get to a “People’s Lib” (and forget about the other two).
05/1/08 11:11 AM | Comment Link
Aaron said...
5Amen. It really is a messed up way of looking at manhood and womanhood. The parental role falls to both people in a proportion that the couple deems fit for their situation. So Amen again.
05/1/08 1:04 PM | Comment Link
Todd said...
6Dorie, yeah i guess they would call Melanie Mrs. Dad when she goes to work…er something. It’s funny, people don’t even think anything by it. They aren’t trying to be sexist. It’s just their default way of thinking from how the culture has brought them up. And that’s just the problem. Far too often we don’t recognize how our culture is infecting our view of life, both in good ways and, in this case, unhelpful ways.
Aaron, i think you are right, its situational for sure. I know some dad’s who are home five days a week. That’s pretty cool. I don’t know that I would do well with that but I think its great.
05/1/08 3:35 PM | Comment Link
Pat said...
7It’s not that many years since guys just weren’t expected to be involved in child rearing, except for being the disciplinarians. My dad never changed a diaper – and certainly not my grandpa. But for me, … the whole world is different.
They times, they have a’changed.
05/1/08 6:01 PM | Comment Link
Dorie said...
8@ Pat – Your comment just reminded me how much I take for granted as far as my own family dynamic. My grandfather never changed my mother’s diaper but by the time I had been born, he decided that he wanted a “shadow” and was my primary care giver until I was eight (diaper changing and all).
I’m also reminded of conversations I had with my husband before we were married (where my micromanaging self outlined my parenting expectations for when we have kids). One of my biggest concerns was that he would be a hands off parent.
05/2/08 3:05 AM | Comment Link
Todd Hiestand » Blog Archive » Sunday Blog Roundup: April 26 - May 3 - Missional Living in Suburban America said...
9[...] Don’t Call Me Mr. Mom – I am not Mr. mom. I am a dad. [...]
05/4/08 7:21 PM | Comment Link
Evan said...
10Did my email bring these feelings up? Is it alright if I call myself “Mr. Mom” or does that not fly either?
11/3/08 12:39 PM | Comment Link
Dorie Morgan’s Rising Up » A Very Romantic Rising Up Valentine’s Day » Navigating Twenty-Something Suburban Life said...
11[...] chip macadamia nut cookies… they are amazing). It really doesn’t matter what we make though. It is the time together that really matters and playing in the kitchen is a fun way to enjoy each other’s company with the TV [...]
02/13/09 7:25 AM | Comment Link