Right now you are sleeping in a crib next to our bed. This is quite strange. In fact, this whole day has been quite strange. I know you feel the same way. I can’t imagine how confused you must feel. The woman who has been caring for you for the past nine months, for all you knew she was your mom, brought you this big hotel and you met us. You were all smiles at first. In fact, you wouldn’t stop staring at me (don’t worry, i didn’t mind!). But, as the time wore on it was almost like you knew something was up. You probably couldn’t help but wonder what we were doing in this small room and who these two strange people were and why you were meeting them.
Each time your foster mom would try and let Melanie hold you, you wanted none of it. I don’t blame you. Not only were you confused over the whole situation, you were quite tired. You were well due for a nap so your foster mom actually came up to the room help you go to sleep. She did a great job and soon (after a little fussing) you were off to quietly sleeping.
You do need to know something about the first nine months of your life. Your foster mother loved you deeply (I know that she still does too). For some reason, I didn’t think about how hard it would be for her to pass you off to us. I knew it was going to be for you, but I hadn’t thought about her. For the first nine months of your life she cared for you, bathed you, fed you, held you when you cried and loved you well. And now she has passed you on to us so that we could do the same and make you part of our family. I imagine she finds comfort in knowing that you have changed hands and families for the final time.
Honestly, Mason, I don’t know exactly how to process the role of your foster mom. I can understand your birth mom knowing that in order for you to have a full and best possible life she would have to entrust you to another loving family. I can’t imagine doing that, but I can at least get it a little in my head. But for some reason I think the love of your foster mom fits into a different category. She welcomed you into her home, knowing full well that she would one day have to say goodbye.
So tonight we pray for her and pray that the God of all comfort and peace would guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
Oh, another less intense note, you’re quite the sleeper. I was impressed with the way that you were able to sleep for 2.5 hours in the stroller next to the pool. It was rather loud, especially with all the cars going by just over the other side of the wall. I can sleep pretty much anywhere too so I’m fairly proud father.
Tonight you have a little infection in your throat and have a fever off and on. I know its making things even harder for you. Oh, you are also only 14 pounds and all the clothes we brought for you are a little big. Honestly, they look really cute.
So yeah, today was a beautiful day. Much like a dream really. Today was also a strange combination between intensely emotional and kind of lazy.
All that matters in the end is that you are here, sleeping next to your mommy. I can’t wait till you wake up in 3 hours… I guess I’d better get some sleep!
Oh, I just want you to know that I am so proud to be called your daddy…