“I really have no clue what I am about to say.” This is usually the first thought that goes through my mind as I pick up my pen to journal some mornings. (It was my first thought when I started this entry too, so we’ll see where it goes!).
Anyways, I have been trying to get into the habit of journaling again. One of the strangest parts of the whole thing is actually using a pen again. I do so much work on the computer that I actually write very little. So, when I do my hand is very quick to cramp right up.
Journaling has always been something that I have done in seasons in my life. There have been entire years that I have gone without it (like the one day I picked up my journal and realized it had been a year to the day that I made my last entry – that was strange).
I guess one could ask, and sometimes I ask myself, “why journaling?” A few reasons:
- Journaling for me is basically written thoughts to God. Often for me, I work things out better writing than I do just thinking in my head. If you read some of my prayers they would be quite humorous. I’ll start one place perspective and end up in a completely different one as I write.
It’s a discipline that causes me to be honest with God and confront what’s really going on in my life. It feels a bit stupid to write something, as a prayer that you know is not true. Its one thing to be fake to God in a prayer in your head. It’s another thing to have a record of it! For some reason, writing down something that is just not reality (no matter how much you want it to be) just feels plain stupid.
For example, there have been times when I would have prayed without thinking “God, I trust you in this situation” when I really meant, “God, what the heck are you doing? I am so confused, ticked off and totally frustrated with how things are working out.” Somehow for me, I am forced to be honest with God as I journal.
- Of course, there is always the “Go back and see what God has done” reason. However, I sometimes see that as more of a detriment to journaling. I go back and read my prayers from Jr. High and they are so hilarious! I can’t believe how much ink I used on asking God for answers to prayers about basketball and girls! I am just thankful I can find some prayers for other people in there too. At least I know that I was not completely self-centered!
Well, those are my thoughts on journaling off the top of my head. It definitely something that I will continue to do because it has become a major spiritual discipline in my life.
Do you journal? What are your reasons for doing it? What are other disciplines you have established in you life?