I’m afraid it will never go away
He walks into the coffee shop,
by instinct I prepare myself
for what he might do.
I do not try and think this,
It just happens.
I’ve been taught this way of thinking since I was a child.
It was rarely explicit,
but constantly implicit.
Black skinned men are dangerous,
at least most of the time.
White people are safe,
at least most of the time
Black man in a hoodie?
Probably a gang member.
White man in a hoodie?
Probably a hipster.
I can’t help it
and i hate it.
I see a black man on the street at night
and I get nervous.
Again, I wonder
what is going to happen.
I want to shove these thoughts
in the back my head.
Hide them.
Pretend they don’t exist.
I want to act
like I have not been taught to fear
black male skin.
But I can’t.
Because I’m a racist.
You are a racist.
We all are.
“But they bring it upon themselves,” you say.
Yep.
You’re a racist.
Maybe it’s not necessarily my fault.
your fault.
We’ve been taught this, after all.
It is our society.
It is to blame.
It is not our fault!
It is still our problem.
Just because we didn’t try to be this way,
doesn’t mean we are not responsible.
Our future is bound up
with our non-white brothers and sisters
We are
as they are.
Yet, it is all too easy
to turn the other way
and pretend it does not matter.
“But why can’t they just get over it?” you ask.
Proof.
You have no clue
what they are going through.
Now is the time
to repent,
to turn towards
our nonwhite brothers and sisters.
to listen,
No, to hear,
to empathize.
To learn what it is like
to not be you.
Now is the time
to take a pass on judgement,
to explain why.
Just listen.
Hear.
But even before any of that
maybe finally admit it,
you are a racist.
Like me.